Sa panahon na lumilipas, na wari mo’y maraming pagbabago, nagbago, at nagbabago sa paligid mo, pero sa sarili mo, parang walang nangyayari, parang walang nagbabago.. kung sakaling meron man, siguro gawa na lang din ng pagbabago na nasa paligid mo. Eka nga, kelangan mo kasing matutong magadopt sa mundo ginagalawan mo. Pero yung totoo, hindi ito un pagbabagong hinahanap mo para sa sarili mo, hindi ito yung pagbabagong ginusto mo. nagbabago ka dahil wala kang choice, dahil wala kang magawa, dahil lahat ng bagay at one point ay kelangang mabago. Nakakainis dahil madalas ganon ang nangyayari sa buhay ko. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang hindi ka nabibigyan ng pagkakataon, parang wala kang sariling isip dahil nadadala ka na lang ng pagbabago ng mundo. Siguro may kahinaan din talaga ko, madalas walang lakas ng loob, mukhang matapang, pero ang totoo duwag, ang totoo, hindi ko kayang mapagisa. At dahil hindi ko kayang magisa, kelangan kong sabayan yung pagbabago sa paligid ko, kelangan kong pakisamahan ang bawat isa, kelangan kong tanggapin na sunod-sunuran lang ako sa mundong ginagalawan ko. Kaya siguro nafufrustrate ako. Kasi wala akong kontrol sa sarili kong buhay. wala akong kontrol sa mga bagay na gusto kong gawin, vs sa mga bagay na nangyayari sa paligid ko. hindi ko pwedeng sabay na gawin ang gusto ko, at sundan ang galaw ng nasa paligid ko, kase paano kung magkaiba sila ng direksyon? paano kung dun sa gusto mong pagbabago, marami kang masasaktan, marami kang mapapabayaan, marami kang isasakripisyo, paano ka magiging masaya kapag yun ang pinili mo? Pero, paano ka din magiging masaya kung yung isang direksyon ang pipiliin mo? Yung direksyong ginusto ng mundong ginagalawan mo, yung bagay na kahet hindi mo gusto, pero dahil marami ang may gusto, marami ang gumagawa, maraming masaya, kahet hindi mo naintindihan, kahet hindi mo masabayan, pipilitin mo na lang para hindi komplikado. Magulo ba? Ewan ko din, isa lang ang alam kong sigurado ko.. pagod na ko sa ganitong buhay.
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