compulsive contemplating

Sa panahon na lumilipas, na wari mo’y maraming pagbabago, nagbago, at nagbabago sa paligid mo, pero sa sarili mo, parang walang nangyayari, parang walang nagbabago.. kung sakaling meron man, siguro gawa na lang din ng pagbabago na nasa paligid mo.  Eka nga, kelangan mo kasing matutong magadopt sa mundo ginagalawan mo.  Pero yung totoo, hindi ito un pagbabagong hinahanap mo para sa sarili mo, hindi ito yung pagbabagong ginusto mo. nagbabago ka dahil wala kang choice, dahil wala kang magawa, dahil lahat ng bagay at one point ay kelangang mabago.  Nakakainis dahil madalas ganon ang nangyayari sa buhay ko. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang hindi ka nabibigyan ng pagkakataon, parang wala kang sariling isip dahil nadadala ka na lang ng pagbabago ng mundo. Siguro may kahinaan din talaga ko, madalas walang lakas ng loob, mukhang matapang, pero ang totoo duwag, ang totoo, hindi ko kayang mapagisa. At dahil hindi ko kayang magisa, kelangan kong sabayan yung pagbabago sa paligid ko, kelangan kong pakisamahan ang bawat isa, kelangan kong tanggapin na sunod-sunuran lang ako sa mundong ginagalawan ko. Kaya siguro nafufrustrate ako. Kasi wala akong kontrol sa sarili kong buhay. wala akong kontrol sa mga bagay na gusto kong gawin, vs sa mga bagay na nangyayari sa paligid ko. hindi ko pwedeng sabay na gawin ang gusto ko, at sundan ang galaw ng nasa paligid ko, kase paano kung magkaiba sila ng direksyon? paano kung dun sa gusto mong pagbabago, marami kang masasaktan, marami kang mapapabayaan, marami kang isasakripisyo, paano ka magiging masaya kapag yun ang pinili mo? Pero, paano ka din magiging masaya kung yung isang direksyon ang pipiliin mo? Yung direksyong ginusto ng mundong ginagalawan mo, yung bagay na kahet hindi mo gusto, pero dahil marami ang may gusto, marami ang gumagawa, maraming masaya, kahet hindi mo naintindihan, kahet hindi mo masabayan, pipilitin mo na lang para hindi komplikado. Magulo ba? Ewan ko din, isa lang ang alam kong sigurado ko.. pagod na ko sa ganitong buhay. 

we all lost touch..

Strange how life have a way of coming together and falling apart.  You meet people along the way, strangers have become people you get to know, people you like, people you love and care about, and people who have suddenly become a part of your life. But sometimes, we lost touch..and sooner or later things are different. People have turned into someone that you used to know, stranger as it seems, sometimes, they could turn into someone that you hate. And it’s sad when it happens. Sometimes, i think, it’s inevitable, sometimes i think, it isn’t fair, that it isn’t right. But then when you get to that place, you think that sometimes, maybe, that’s just how things are supposed to be. Because sometimes things happen that you can’t help, sometimes it leaves you with no choice, and when it does, sometimes you chose to just forget what life used to be, what you used to have, what it feels like being around the person, you chose to forget what you had, and move on with your own life…and things get stranger everytime.  And you wonder, what if you hadn’t met these people? what if they havent been a part of your life? what would it be like? then you wonder why? why did you meet the person, why did you became friends, or lovers, or why did life betrayed you and let that person in yours. why did you fall out? It’s not like the person betrayed you, used you, or lied and cheated on you and you were hurt so bad. Everybody hurts. It’s when you give up and decided that you have had enough. And if that is the case, then the answer is simple, it’s either you leave, or the person leaves. Either you’ve changed, or the other person changed… or maybe because the world is constantly changing, therefore, nobody stays the same. Therefore, nothing stays the same…      

Pieces of you..

is what i’ll hold on to.

when the times gets tough.. when my luck runs dry-state of shock

the Big LIE

All of your life, you’ve been lied to.

Of course, when you actually look at the world around you, you may see something entirely different.

Beneath the thin veneer of civilization lies a howling madness.. trouble.. problems.. tribulations.  And you probably have been told about these thing before.. And the world may have told you that this too shall pass, and that “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle in life.” which is probably the biggest lie ever told.. coz if you look closely inside your own misery and those of others… God has given us more than we could handle that makes us totally broken.

Truth be told..you have no loving God watching over you, making sure you get what you need. You don’t get what you need in life, you don’t get what you want, you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you get.

One more chance..emote to the bones.

"Sometimes you have to break up in order to grow up. It takes two grown-ups to make a relationship work."

Mga ateng napanod nyo na ba ang movie na itey?? i've seen the movie twice.. not because i like it so much, but just coz i have free tix to watch the movie twice..sayang naman diba..hehehe. anyway..

It's a love story revolving two characters namely; Basha and Popoy which is portrayed by two great actors.. John LLoyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo..well.. i'm really not a fan of Ms. Bea.. i actually hate the girl.. no reason. let's just say i'm such a hateful person..hehehe on the contrary..i loooove lloydie naman..as in.. dati crush ko si John Lloyd.. i remember when i was in college i follewed him inside a movie house sa makati and i sat at the back seat from where he was.. stalker na stalker ang dating.. But that's another story and before i get all carried away, here's a glimpse of what the movie was all about.. 

Popoy (John Lloyd Cruz) and Basha (Bea Alonzo) have been together forever.

Their love story started when they met as students in a university and they have been inseparable ever since—they did everything together: Their families loved them, they shared friends, they eventually worked in the same firm and their life plans revolved around each other.

There is no Popoy without a Basha and vice versa. In short, they are certain that they would get married someday and build a home together literally and figuratively. Everything is perfect.

At least that is what Popoy thinks. until Basha decided to break up with him..

the end.

—hehe.. ayan mga ateng..panoorin nyo na lang yung movie.. i don't wanna be a spoiler for those who haven't watched it.. so i'm just gonna try to write my own review of the film.

First off, i'd like to commend on the spectacular acting skills given by John Lloyd Cruz.. ang galing talaga.. And Bea isn't so bad over all..the characters were so relatable.. including the character of Trisha which is portrayed by Maja Salvador who gave an even luster performance on the film over all.. The whole story was relatable in reality.. Couples who were young and have been together for so long as though inseparable as the two characters in the film..who both gave they're lives in the relationship but in the process loses they're own identities as individuals. it happens in real life and dumadating sa time sa isang couple na  masakal at magsawa dahil umiikot na lang ang mundo nila sa isat-isa.. hindi na sila naggo-grow..and at the same time pati yung relationship..I think that's one problem in a relationship that couples have a hard time dealing with..sometimes they fail to get this message across..and all the other reasons suddenly became so confusing.. sometimes, love is not enough..and when you no longer understand the point of being with each other..everything else will fall apart..that's why some couples feel they're sick and tired of the relationship..because at one point, one will feel as though the other one was getting in the way of they're own growth..and all the ugly feelings will rise on each occasion when you think your partner doesn't understand where youre coming from..and when things don't get better..eventually, they will wanna break up..  i can say so much because i've been there..trust me, things can get really ugly..that's why i like the movie because it was almost real to me..And i guess that's why i find the pain in all three characters relatable as well. The pain in holding on..and letting go.. and loving so much. because that kind of pain is transcendence..and it breaks my heart watching the movie.. O.A. ba?? hehehe..I guess it's safe to say that the story line was simply moving.. There was no doubt that it was a love story..although I also find the entire film funny.. well..i thought it was meant to be funny talaga coz even with all the drama..i can't help but notice how many times the line "Basha" was used in the film..it was irritatingly funny..then again, maybe that's just m..so the verdict is..Over all, the movie is OKAY..considering i hate Bea Alonzo. hahaha.      

Memorable lines from the movie:

"Gusto mo talagang malaman problema ko? nasasaktan ako..kahet alam kong wala na kong karapatan..dahil naisip kong ako naman ang may gusto nito..pero hanggang ngayon umaasa pa rin ako.. na sana ako pa rin.. sana ako na lang.. sana ako na lang ulit….." Basha–nageemote na naman.hehehe

♥

“she luvs me at my worst, you had me at my best, but u chose to break my heart” - mga banat naman ni Popoy.. malufet din eh..hehehe

eto pa isa..

"MAHAL KITA..KAHIT ANG SAKIT SAKIT NA.." –si Popoy parin.. 

Scene 2:

Trisha and Popoy on a date, senti moment.
Trisha: Mahal mo ba ‘ko?
Popoy: Mahal kita.
Trisha: Mahal mo pa siya?
Popoy: Ayaw kitang makitang nasasaktan.
Trisha: *closes Popoy’s eyes sabay hirit * Para kung masaktan man ako, di mo makita.
Ayos! na mga tirada..di na nakita ni popoy nagwalk-out na si trisha..ngerks.

♥

“Kung nakaya ko, kaya mo rin… naaalala mo nung ako nanjan? Eh di ba ikaw pa nagsabi sakin na baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng mga taong mahal natin kasi baka merong bagong darating na mas okay, na mas mamahalin tayo. Yung taong di tayo sasaktan at papaasahin, yung nagiisang tao na magtatama ng mali sa buhay natin… ng lahat ng mali sa buhay natin.” ~ Popoy (One More Chance)

♥ 

Dumating ang Tito ni Popoy galing sa kung saan lugar

“Masakit ang ulo ko.”

“Tito, mag Biogesic ka muna.” –hirit ni Popoy. Anak ng teteng..Sponsor? Hehe. ayos! 

anonymous

In a brief conversation, a man, speaking to a woman, was out to pursue the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asked, "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes" as she began to expound…

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.

I pay my own bills.  

I take care of my household without the help of any man- or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money… I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said,

"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Mentally. I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked… Believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection Financially because I don't need a financial… burden.

I am looking for someone who is Sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but Strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can Respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive… He just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. At this point, I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face, and exclaimed,  "You're asking for a whole lot!"

To which she gracefully replied…

"Only if you think I'm not WORTH a lot."

##########

source: anonymous 

enemy spotted…

Napansin ko lang..parami ng parami na yata ang mga taong kinaiiritahan ko..anu beh?! ako ba ay iniluwal upang mangokray at manggalaiti sa mga taong pasaway? hehehe.. ay nako, so para naman sa kaalaman ng iba dyan.. wag kang magreact dahil wala kong panahon pagusapan ka..hahaha. eto lang, kase, masyado kang assuming..and i think that's one down side in having a blog.. when you tell a story, that is available to the public, ina-assume agad nila na kilala ka na nila..they presume a lot tapos iju-judge ka based on what you wrote or said. but that's an understatement..i don't really care what you think of me.. i created a blog for myself. this is  something personal to me. a means to express my deepest thoughts, my weirdness, my being emotional and all.. i'm just being real..kung di mo matanggap kung ano ko, eh di wag. i'm not here to please anybody. so if you don't like what you read, just leave my fucking site.. not all blogs are created to give info that will be useful to all, or that will help others. hindi din ako institusyon at wala kong pakelam sa buhay ng ibang tao..kanya kanya lang yan, wala na lang pakelamanan..hindi porket nababasa mo, eh may karapatan ka na sabihin gusto mo sa blog ko.. bakit di mo i- post sa sarili mong blog mga komento mo gaga! kaya manahimik ka na dyan! kaka-offend ka na ha..hehehe! pero thank you na rin napapansin mo pa ko..hahaha. basta si darna..lageng bida talaga..hahaha. bleh!

hating to love and loving to hate..

"DING, ang bato!" yells Narda, the adolescent country lass, to her younger brother. Ding obligingly hands over a shiny pebble which Narda swallows to turn herself into the vivacious super-vixen, Darna.

for anonymities sakes–this is the lists of the characters that i met and you'll eventually meet in the so-called DARNA's bida-bidahan days! hahaha. komiks na komiks ang dating.. at sila ay related sa mga pasaway sa layp ko..

1. BRAGUDA - KAW YAN GAGA! ang panget eh. period.

2. VALENTINA -  Ang babaeng ahas. pwede ding back-stabber, two-faced slut! 

3. BABAENG IMPAKTA - yung makakapal ang mukha, walang hiya, makasarili.

4. BABAENG TUOD - manhid, tanga, bobo, walang silbi.

5. BABAENG LOBO - tabachoy, baboy, burara! 

6. BABAENG LINTA - user and accuser.

7. MAMBABARANG - traydora, plastik

8. DIVAS IMPAKTITAS - barkadahang papansin, insecure, walang magawa sa buhay. mangookray. (ako ba itey?!)hehe

9. DAMBUHALANG AHAS - hisssssssssssssssssssss.. taong walang diskarte. puro lang pacute kaya pansin na pansin.

10. NARDA'S PAST - it is said that Narda's past is the greatest enemy of DARNA.. koneksyon?! hahaha

11. ADRANIKAS - a place, time being, unknown world..malalim eh..hahaha!

12. BLACK DARNA - my alter ego

13. THE TOY MASTER - boy toy, babaeng lalakero, lalakeng babaero, malanding nilalang

14. THE PLANET MEN - boys, boys, boys, men, men, men, crushes, kilig place to be.

15. THE PLANET WOMEN - mga babaeng may ibang level ng confidence.. kahet mukhang alien.. hahaha

 *yan na muna.. ayoko ng magisip eh. hehehe.

anyway…takte may gagawin pa pala ko.. ba-bye muna.. im gonna be away for a while..sa raket nga. so..la lang.. mamiss kong magblog..