is what i'll hold on to.

when the times gets tough.. when my luck runs dry-state of shock

Beneath the thin veneer of civilization lies a howling madness.. trouble.. problems.. tribulations.  And you probably have been told about these thing before.. And the world may have told you that this too shall pass, and that "God doesn't give us more than we can handle in life." which is probably the biggest lie ever told.. coz if you look closely inside your own misery and those of others... God has given us more than we could handle that makes us totally broken.

Truth be told..you have no loving God watching over you, making sure you get what you need. You don't get what you need in life, you don't get what you want, you don't get what you deserve. You get what you get.

500 days of magic, of distance, of tenderness.
500 days of intimacy, of awkwardness, of passion.
500 days of fury, of extacsy, of uncertainty, of Summer.

This is long overdued. haha! Finally i had the chance to watch this movie yesterday on dvd...and i lavet!!! i love the soundtrack and i find the whole movie really funny. it was a story about love and how it can fail. You know, a love story defly built on unrequitted love.. confusing, devious, desperate. A story about the girl of his dreams/or boy of her dreams stuck on friends-with-benefits mode. ahahah! The plot truly capture the heartache of reality hitting a person who sees another person through the filter of some deep-seeded emotions... it was painfully funny. And the Smith's lyrics of there's a light that never goes out, "To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die." is just perfect. i love smiths na din... Anyway.. The movie constantly reminds you that these are two different people with different ideas of a relationship, how hard can it be to be hopelessly falling for someone while the other person is not falling for you? bitchy. i was totally feeling this at the moment. and i was kind of intrigue about the scene where summer mentioned sid and nancy. i've thought who are these people? later on as i googled my way to it i found out that sid vicious is a punk rockstar from the 70's and nancy was a groupie of his band who won his heart..yada, yada, and as they're story goes sid stabbed nancy to death. how romantic eh? hehe.. and for a moment there i thought just because i couldn't get into someone's head, i suddenly wanted to be sid vicious and who will be my nancy? guess who?? haha.. just the thought of him makes me cringe with pain in my tummy and i want to stab him with sumthing rusty and hope he'd die slowly and painfully. haha..bitterness!! bite me hah!! 

anyway,

how about some memorable lines from the movie?

here's one, the part where the two were at the bed section of a home depot and tom says to summer, "er,honey, i think we have some chinese family in our bathroom.." hahaha! funny.  

more memorable lines:

Summer: I love The Smiths.

Tom: [removing his headphones] Sorry?

Summer: I said I love The Smiths. You–you have a good taste in music.

Tom: You like The Smiths?

Summer: Yeah. “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” I love ‘em.

[Summer steps off the elevator)

Tom: Holy shit.

Summer: “Today, you’re a man. Mozeltoff on your bar mitzvah.

Summer: Well, you’re a, perfect adequate greeting card writer.

Tom: Thank you. That was actually my nickname in college. They called me perfectly adequate Hansen.

Summer: They used to call me anal girl.

[Tom spits out the champagne]

Summer: I was very neat and organized.

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

OHh shoot! i gotta go! need to watch sherlock holmes! yeahaw! catch up with the world later! xoxo

i want you so badly it's my biggest wish..

can you meet me half way right at the borderline

that's where i'm gonna wait for you!

i'll be looking out night and day

took my heart to the limit and this is where i stay..

ooh. i can't go any further than this..

i want you so bad, it's my ONLY wish!

can you meet me halfway?

I’m kind of getting used to being in and out of a manic depressive state on a regular basis... Like feeling happy one moment, and all so sudden felt sad, as if a giant vacuum came in and suck the happy out of me. I know that this happens to almost everyone I knew or know of. Like it’s only normal that people get depressed, get crazy and do stupid things. It was probably just a state of mind, but when you couldn’t identify any reason to be sad and all wobbly, I know that there is something wrong. Well, women tried to call it PMS, professional have thought of it as some sort of chemical imbalance, and a happy pill would make it all better. But I know that this hole, this emptiness inside that is breaking my heart to pieces is nothing like a happy pill can make it all go away. It wasn’t like life has been such a pain in the ass. It’s nothing like trouble, or struggles in life, but more on a deeper, personal, and bigger existence. Like your personal thoughts, and the confusion as to what purpose it will serve to be, when you couldn’t find any reason why you’re still around. I’m not suicidal for any matter, but when you feel the loneliness despite having friends, family or lovers around, and still it doesn’t seem to suffice the loneliness inside. There’s always something missing. Something lacking that you could only hope you could identify what that is. I know I’m not alone at this, I know people who seemed to have everything in life but still wasn’t happy.  It may be a question of moral contentment, spiritual growth, or stability. I will admit I’m not religious; I’m a believer, although I’m not spiritual. There’s probably some truth to the notion that God is the answer to this confusion, but it doesn’t stop you from wondering further. But sometimes, it’s nothing like a simple answer that all you need is to pray, and know his existence, that when you do it religiously he will make your life better all the way, until you believe it actually, but one wrong step, one mistake and you’re back from where you’ve started. Lost, confused, and wondering further. May be until you realized it’s really not about God at all, it’s one’s soul in search of a higher purpose. Because we are made to be curious, our instinct is to seek what we can’t see, what we can’t have, what we can’t find. And we are made weak and fragile at this journey...

namfootah! amp!!